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A Tale | Zenith El Primero Synopsis

It's a synopsis of the Zenith El Primero then is it? No, no, there's a model called the El Primero Synopsis, but this is the story of my Synopsis, not just a synopsis. Are you with me?


Img src: Watches of Mayfair.

Once upon a time there was a watch guy who really, really wanted a Zenith El Primero Chronograph. He longed for one, any on the many, full dial, open face, skeleton, they all spoke to him. They called to him in his dreams but he was unable to find the right one. He searched far and wide for one, full set, not full price. He waited and waited, many moons and seasons passed and finally he found one, the special one. Or so he thought, as when he close to procuring the magical instrument, the wicked seller attempted a shifty manouevure to avoid sellers fees and lost the trust of the watch guy. Crestfallen, he abandoned his quest and as the world became embroiled in a pandemic it looked as though his wrist would never see its zenith.


Years later, as he wandered the chronoscope he unexpectedly discovered another variation of the El Primero, less known but hallowed and beautiful all the same. Enthused but anxious, it was quite the commitment, and in addition he had not met the conditions he had set himself to allow such a purchase. After much pondering and pacing over a couple of days, he decided it was a chance not be overlooked, it was destiny, the universe was speaking to him, it had presented something special - though his wallet was also speaking to him, it was saying, 'what the hell are you thinking, you stupid sunnuvabitch?' It was time. He hesitantly yet excitedly took to making an offer to the vendor, the first was overly low, some would say it was 'taking the piss' to offer such a low price for such an instrument. The offer was rejected, unsurprisingly and unequivocally. If a second was to be made it would have to be more reasonable. He felt disheartened, unsure, considering the state of the world, it might be seen as untimely and irrational, was it the right time? Would it ever be?


The second offer went in, it was made in a different landscape, via another middleman. It was a time of fear, uncertainty and doubt, what if it wasn't accepted, what if it was? He started to rationalise a potential rejection. It would be for the best if the offer was rejected, it wasn't meant to be, he would tell himself. He would continue to save, search and find another in the future. It would be a more comfortable purchase. A more sensible approach to a major purchase, not a surprise find but considered search and consumption.


"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus.

This stoic quote rings true in a number of ways. Would such an addition spoil what he had? A modest, varied collection of watches, enjoyed thoroughly without any superstar watch or brand. It was a humble yet substantial collection. But on the other hand, he had attained watches that he had hoped for and desired, they hadn't spoiled what he had, they had added value. Though this was a step up.


What if the offer was accepted? Then he would soon be in possession of a grail. He would have gained something he never thought he would. It could be a momentous occasion, a milestone and point of no return, perhaps. Would it be a disappointment, or might he be further consumed by conspicuous consumption?


...a wondrous but ultimately, utterly useless instrument.

But what of the second offer? A day passed and there was no word. He began to manage his expectations, it was unlikely to be accepted now, it was for the best. He could use the money for something else, something more meaningful, useful, sensible. Another timepiece was just unnecessary. It wasn't the time for such lavish expenditure, Brexit, the energy and cost of living increases, inflation, interest rate hikes, the threat of war. This was a time to be considerate of potential catastrophic events and a change in lifestyle. Expect the unexpected and be cautiously pessimistic. Nothing was going right anywhere, and here he was looking to spend 1.5x the average monthly income in his country on a wondrous but ultimately utterly useless instrument.



Watches were a curse to him, but an accepted and thoroughly enjoyable psychological malfunction. He would wear a watch everyday whether he was going out or not. On some days watch he was wearing might be changed several times a day for varying reasons and feelings. This watch guy was as irrational as the next watch person. Why this constrictive and confusing affliction beset him was anyones guess, why it captured anyone was anyones guess. These nuts cite design, engineering, historical horological milestones, sentiment and even needing to tell the time and date as rationale for their horological hobby. They are hypnotised by branding and marketing prowess, exploiting psychological and physiological processes to gain a foothold in the very chemical concoctions of the brain. Their cogs are being wound by manufacturer and influencers. Thoroughly manipulated are the consumers of luxury watches and watches in general. There is no point to these antiquated instruments of yesteryear, they are defunct and debunked, yet many a human male is left helpless when faced with a fancy timepiece.


Numerous thoughts crossed his head, as the offer lingered. Would he even wear such a wonderful instrument if he attained it, or would it remained locked away safe - to be stared at on special occasions.


To Be Continued...







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